Bummer

Hi.  Well.  It's not good news.  

I will probably be having eye surgery tomorrow on my left eye.  Damn glaucoma.  It's a long story, and I'm exhausted and terrified, so we'll see how far I get....  Starting last week, I wasn't feeling like I was seeing very well, but I had just gotten my new contacts, so I was thinking perhaps I got the wrong box or something and was going to call to see.  Well, I woke up on Saturday morning with a boring pain through my eye, a significant sensitivity to light, and my eye was really red.  I went in to see the ophthalmologist on call, who determined I had developed inflammation (by an unknown cause), which was causing my pressure to be really high again: 44 (anything over 20 is a problem).  To further the problem, the only treatment for this inflammation is steroid drops, which tend to cause my pressure to skyrocket.  So, he gave me additional drops for the glaucoma along with the steroid for the inflammation, totaling five drops to be administered at various times throughout the day.  

I felt pretty good last night and my eye was looking a lot better.  I was supposed to see the dr at 8:00am this morning, but when I woke up at 7:00, I could barely see through my left eye.  It was like looking through a really dense fog.  And, totally freaky to me, my eye wouldn't focus on my reflection in the mirror, just drift randomly around.  I called the dr, and went right in.  My pressure was at 46.  We headed to the 24 hour pharmacy to fill another drug, this time a pill to control the glaucoma systemically.  

Then, I went back in at noon, this time to see my own ophthalmologist, a glaucoma specialist, who I trust and like very much.  Even with five drops and a pill, my pressure was still at 40, which is high enough to go blind if left that high for long.  

I'm going in at 7:15 tomorrow morning, but barring a miraculous drop in pressure over night, I will have to have surgery in order to relieve the pressure.  I am so scared and overwhelmed and confused about why this is happening.  

I want to be able to see.  Desperately so.  It makes me cry every time I think of that being jeopordized.  

The surgery should go well, though.  If my doctor says it needs to happen, I will do it.  I doubt I will have time to post on here before knowing for sure what is happening, but I wanted at least to let people here know, because many, many people I know and love check this blog, and I figure the more people thinking of me tomorrow, the better.  So, whether you pray or not, please send good wishes my way tomorrow.  I'm feeling awfully weak right now and I need all the strength I can get from you.  I'll let you know when I can how I'm doing.